A long time ago, there was a certain female deity worshipped by some tribes in perhaps, a fit of ignorance of the workings of natural phenomena. Not unlike many humans who turn to the supernatural to help explain the natural events beyond their understanding, they would dance before her altars, or her totems, or offer up their firstborn in fires to soothe her wrath… for who could reign in the Mother’s terrible rage when she belched up firey torments from the hills and shook the ground (volcanos, earthquakes) or smashed through villages with torrents of waters (flash floods) or threw down houses with tempestuous gales (hurricanes/tornados)?

Or even the more commonplace issues of the cycles of drought and rains, which affected the harvest, and more directly, what appeared on the earliest dinner tables man could fashion?

Such dancing and sacrifices often were fervent with the desire to appease their angry mother, who at a moment’s notice, could send a devastaing hail of icy stones to shred a crop to useless stalks, or a plague of locusts to devour every living plant down to the roots.

And yet, despite Science™ and her wonders, and despite the knowledge of the True Gospel which is able to save men’s souls… Al Gore, our would-be Environmental Jesus, would hope to scare us with his Inconvenient Sham of Global Warming, or his “carbon offset trading” scam he has cooked up in the spirit and power of the DNC’s prophet George Soros.

Not since the days of John Tetzel selling his indulgences for a few coppers at Wittemberg a few centurioes ago, has anyone so assiduously peddled a “get out of jail free” program as this Carbon Offset trade. Never mind that acre after acre of Brazilian Amazon rain forest is plowed under for “ecological safe and renewable” ethanol sugar cane plantations, or that hundreds of species will continue to disappear in our lifetimes; nor the $30,000 electric bill Mr. Gore foots every year (about 10x the usage of the average American household)

Why, there is no guarantee that the offsets one buys will actually contribute back to the removeal of CO2 from the atmosphere any more than said land won’t be turned into a zinc mine.

Needless to say, I am not buying it anymore than I am willing to dance in front of an alter to Gaia.